10th july 2007 - novi sad

there has just been a well-attended press conference here in novi sad. i'm now going to go back to bed again. i'm pretty done in by the last few days, the concerts and the endeavours for meetings, the meetings and the emotions that came over me in Vukovar. the level of the danube has been rising - partly from the storms back home - and I feel the same way in the face of the stories that the burned-out buildings in front of our landing stage silently yelled at us. memories of cruelties emerge unexpectedly like large pieces of driftwood in floodwater. writing the logbook is burdening me too. not because it is time-consuming, I do like to write, there is simply too little time for reflection between the experienced, the noted and the publication of this. there is no contemplation phase and I don't have a connection to the reader. i appreciate the internet as a source of information, but beyond that I can't take it seriously. how should a narrative arc be drawn when the loose ends will perhaps never come together, when the unknown lurks in every day, when there will perhaps never be a resolution and redemption for many of the situations?